Backpacking through Europe
Because I said
so that is why … a tactic used by many parents … do not question why I am telling
you do something, just do it! I am your
father or I am your mother so just do it…
… not a bad
technique when you are dealing with a young child, whose frontal lobes have not
yet fully formed, and they are lacking in wisdom and emotional control … as the
child grows, they are given more voice
in the family and in their lives, at least by “good parents" they are ….
I remember when
my eldest daughter graduated college she took a “gap year” prior to going on to
grad school … she worked as a bartender in a local restaurant chain to save enough
money to backpack through Europe, with her friends .Of course she was also thinking
what her next step in life would be, would she go to law school or pursue a
Master’s degree and move on from there …
WOW did I get flack
from my family … with what kind of mother are you... Allowing your daughter to
work as a bartender and then allowing her to backpack through Europe for 4
weeks … I remained silent and did not engage my relatives, when they ripped
into me about how bad a mother I was in “allowing my daughter to do what she
wanted to do”… my personal philosophy in life was and is “you cannot argue stupid”…
and my relatives position on this matter was just “stupid”.
Point of fact
my daughter was an “adult” and educated and I knew what values I had tried to instill
in her as I raised her… I had given her “roots” and now it was time to step
back and allow her to have “wings”… As a parent you are not called to control
your child for their lifetime, you are called to prepare them for life …
Such is the role
of the Church as our mother or at least it should be … at some point it needs
to step back and get out of our lives … If you taught us correctly we will remember
the lessons … but allow us to think as we have a well formulated consciousness…
gifted to us by God himself and we have free will.
I have a ying/
yang relationship with the hierarchy of the Church to say the least... yet when
I run across “honest thinking” they engage me intellectually, which causes me to deepen my faith … for they
are not forcing their thinking upon me, but inviting me to think, which is what
we all should being doing with each other … our current society is laced with
strife and hatred for we a locked into our positions and rigid … as many of the
“old guard are in the church” their way or the highway …they call it “obedience”,
and their miter spins if you challenge them on that level…
I recall the thinking
of Benedict XVI (July 2005) when he said “The Pope is not an oracle” … Bishops
are not as well, although most try to be … Benedict reinforced this point of
the Pope not being an oracle when he published his Book Jesus of Nazareth and invited
people to disagree with him … now that is spiritual and intellectual honesty at
play … not do as I say.. Not as I do..... Blind obedience … to someone called a
Bishop, a Cardinal or clergy … for many of them are blind themselves, by their own
blind ambition, within the politics of the hierarchy of the church …
The only time
you are called to render “blind obedience” is to God and that is called “faith in
Him” … faith in the unseen, not the seen world of the power within the Magisterium…
Yes my daughter
did back pack through Europe for 4 weeks (worse weeks of my life as it pertains
to worry!)…. I did double duty praying during those months… she called me once a
week to check in (more if she was homesick)… my daughter needed to do this and
I needed to respect her as a human being and step back and trust in God … He
knows where she is and He has called her to do His will on this planet.. In the
end she belongs to God not me… Just as in the end, we all belong to God not the
hierarchy of the Church … You say you believe in God … well put your heart/
head where your faith is then and stop trying to control others …
