Custody of the eyes … or control your thoughts

… yesterday I was doing several things at once, while trying to remember the numerous things I had to do later in the day and tomorrow, and I became a bit over whelmed … while posting a video on the Dr. Killjoy blog site (with several other programs opened on my computer) a random website popped up on my screen and I decided to read it …… it was a priest’s words on his celibacy

 I do not think Jesus Christ required celibacy of his apostles / followers when he called them… yet I admire the priest who wrote the words below for he is “honoring his vow”, which he believes and so many priests do not (nor some married men, and to be fair woman as well)   … 

  Words from Fr. Joe …..  Friends have joked from time to time that I seem shy in public. What they mean is that I tend to look at the ground. I am not the only priest who does this. What they interpret as shyness is something more or quite deliberate. Many of us were taught or picked up from other priests what was commonly called a concern for the “custody of the eyes.” The proverb is quite true that “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” Men are both visual and tactile. We like to see and to touch. This starts with childhood. A little boy sees a cookie and his eyes open wide with delight and he immediately reaches for it, even if it is forbidden by his mother because it will spoil his supper.

The man appreciates that there are sweeter delights than cookies and candy. The hormones kick in, we pass through puberty, and suddenly we are all eyes and maybe hands for the girls. Women might be drawn to the fact that a priest is one man who does not treat them as a sexual object. He is regarded as safe and as a spiritual man. This is as it should be. The priest wants to save souls, and in this he must regard men and women as the same. More than this, he must give every woman the same regard— young and old, smart and dull, fat or skinny, attractive or ugly, etc. He must look upon them with the eyes of Christ. Nevertheless, the priest is still a man.

I recall that one sensitive woman became hurt because the local priest seemed to have time and eyes for everyone but her. He would glance at her and look away when he talked. She complained that he did not like her. The woman was quite wrong. He liked her very much, too much. The priest thought she was intensely attractive. He looked away so that he might not look her over, up and down. 

Women can also become upset if they should notice or suspect that a priest (like other men) is devouring them with his eyes. Flattery for one is deep disappointment for another. The priest is concerned about such impressions. He is also worried about his own soul. That is one of the reasons why I (along with many other priests) avoid beaches and public pools. Scantily clothed women make the proper custody of the eyes almost impossible. These images linger in the mind and what enters the mind can quickly move to the imagination.

Priests face many hurdles, but by the grace of God we remain strong and resilient. Celibacy is but one area of challenge but it is a crucial one if we want to continue as shepherds of Christ’s flock. We are faithful, obedient and do our duty.

As a priest mindful of his duty, I am drawn to Robert Frost’s Poem,

 “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.” A stanza reads:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

My thoughts

I do not think looking at a woman is a sin … I think where you allow your thoughts to go after you look at a woman can be a sin … I actually look at men and many times will say or think… wow he is handsome or what a stud and I can say the same if I see a beautiful woman .. With a … Wow she is gorgeous…

 Human beings to me are like “God’s artwork” and I appreciate them… I appreciate all of God’s creation… And I also believe if a really good looking woman walked by Jesus,  he would have turned his head to look … he was true man as well as truly divine … it is part of the DNA of men and part of nature … 

The Catholic church forces “unnatural laws” on the clergy … God created “natural law” and the church teaches men to defy it with celibacy… So how could defying the natural law of God, be graced filled ?  It makes for perversion and unnatural relationships between men and women ... where the above priest cannot even look at women at times... that is pretty sick to me ... if you cannot look a woman in the eye because of your thoughts that is sad indeed and a personality disorder and the lack of control comes from an unnatural denying of a desire to be with someone, which God created in men and women   ... granted there are people who choose to be celibate, priests are not given choice, they are given a mandate thus it takes away their free will to serve God in such a fashion.    

Fr. Joe also makes mention "the priest must give a woman the same regard if she is old, young, ugly or pretty" and therein lays a big issue for all women in the work force ... the attractive women succeed and advance more often  ... so Fr. Joe's thoughts are not unique to his priesthood, a woman gets such things from all men,most the time .. ... if you love like Christ, you love women like he did with respect and honor, never stepping on their free will, or lusting after them. I cannot imagine Jesus Christ ever saying that being with a woman puts the soul of the priest at risk, as the priest above makes mention of ... such thinking blasphemes God's Natural Law... and extremely insulting to God as well as women.

My argument for married priests was one of the last and contentious discussion, I had with my past   Diocesan spiritual director, after I repeatedly became aware of the sexual misconduct within  the clergy.                   

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